Jerry Falwell makes no sense.

Everyone's favorite televangelist slash wacko Jerry Falwell continues to bridge the gap between incomprehensible and reprehensible:

"I certainly hope that Hillary is the candidate," Falwell said at a breakfast session Friday in Washington. "I hope she's the candidate, because nothing will energize my (constituency) like Hillary Clinton," he said. "If Lucifer ran, he wouldn't."

Blah blah blah, crazy Republican calls Democrat the devil -- in a world where Pat Robertson asks his followers to pray for the death of Supreme Court Justices, who cares about a simple Lucifer analogy? Well, its Falwell's response that takes things a step up.

Falwell told the AP that he did not intend to demonize the former first lady. "That was totally tongue-in-cheek and everyone in the building knew that and everyone laughed," Falwell said.

I don't think Jerry Falwell understands words. Seriously, his position is that comparing Hillary Clinton to a demon does not constitute demonizing her. And saying an insult was "tongue in cheek" doesn't excuse anything, it just means you've expressed an opinion disguised as humor in light of its unpopularity. For instance, I can say "Jerry Falwell is a facist motherfucker." The comment might be "tongue in cheek," but it doesn't make my actual argument any less real. The difference between the Reverend and I is that I'm quoting CNN, and he pretends to speak for the Christians of America.

He's also a ginormous tool.

We Are Scientists -- What Gives?

I'm actually not racist. Daniel's just an idiot.

Daniel: an internship?

me: yeah, with congresswomen linda sanchez from LA. (insert as many latino jokes as you want)

Daniel: sanchez!!
Daniel: ole!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daniel: vive cuervo!!!
Daniel: break out your sombrero and your nine's homes!
Daniel: get that shit on esse!

me: your racism is impeccable

Daniel: thank you, i try
Daniel: dude make your own beaner joint
Daniel: reencarnate los cabos
Daniel: us buddhists are good at that reencarnation shit, its like our thing

me: thanks for that
me: but the hindus have been reencarnating since before buddha was just a really fat baby
me: i was actually a tree in my last life -- interestingly enough, i still did your mom.

Mos Def -- Umi Says (Zero 7 remix)

Marmaduke hurts America.

I'm hoping this whole "Marmaduke" thing is an elaborate practical joke.

Ted Leo and the Pharmacists -- Loyal to My Sorrowful Country

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

By some amazing chance, I ended up with a five day weekend this semester. Having five marathon classes on Tuesday and Thursday may suck, but it does leave me with a period from Thursday night to Tuesday morning where I literally have no responsibilities. 107 hours of complete freedom. And as my constant gloating indicates, this set up is totally fine with me. Sure, I might contemplate gouging my own eyes out by noon on Thursday, but after that? I'm good to go.

Now, however, I'm faced with a surreal and slightly offensive dilemma -- what do I do with all that free time? Hour 43 of my weekend and I realize that I have nothing better to do but to watch some bad movie on showtime with an ugly looking Keira Knightley. For god's sake, I didn't even know that was possible! Needless to say, my weekly vacations seem to be presenting me with questions i've been trying to avoid. How is it possible that, if left alone, I manage to listen to "The Magical Mystery Tour" 14 times in a row? Why does my radio make unbearable noises everytime I get a phone call? And how the hell does MTV-U survive on six videos and an occasional speech from Don Cheadle?

Apart of me doesn't want to know.

Pheonix -- Rally

Robert Sean Leonard is a tool.

So I watched the season premiere "House, M.D." today and I just have to say -- Robert Sean Leonard's character is a d-bag. But before I start trashing everyone's favorite suicidal member of the Dead Poets Society, let me explain myself. As those of you who are paying attention have already noticed, this post was written on Friday.

...at midnight. A perfect time to be out and about, involved in a myriad of illegal activities. But what, you may ask, was Srinivas doing at this hour? Playing pong? Combining Mentos and Diet Coke? Incoherently explaining that the "bring back Vincent and Angela" episode of Project Runway was a total sell out? No, My night had come to an end, and I found myself watching TV -- needless to say, I was excited to see that House was on. Greatest show ever with the greatest actor ever, Hugh Laurie of "Black Adder" fame. But you know who isn't the greatest actor ever? Robert Sean Leonard. Because he's a total jerk.

In this episode, House just came back from rehab after regaining the use of leg, and he apparently now has a positive outlook on life. I don't know how I feel about that, because some of the best parts of the show were Hugh Laurie totally ripping into people for no reason -- but hey, who am I to second guess the almighty Television? Anyway, House goes on this bent to help a coma patient, even when everyone around him is telling him to give up. House, in true House fashion, keeps on pushing until, finally, recommendation to inject the patient with cortisol (note: any chemical with more than the eight letters is too long for TV) miraculously makes the patient get up and walk.

But here's the twist -- House didn't see the patient recovering, so he never knew that the cortisol worked. Robert Sean Leonard's (RSL for short -- shut up, its not lame) character knew, and what did he do? Absolutely nothing. RSL told everyone to hide the patient's recovery from House, so that he would never know he was right the whole time about the cortisol. His argument was basically that "House needs to learn to listen to me." How crazy is that -- House just saved someone's life, and this tool doesn't want him to know because of some personal vendetta? And they totally set up the plotline so RSL can keep on coming back to this decision and thereby continue to be a tool. Its just ridiculous.

But more than that, why the hell would you make RSL's character do this? I mean, the guy is like the nicest on the show. There are a couple of theories:
1) Some tool at the network looked at "House, M.D." and thought "you know what this show needs? More middle-aged white d-bags."
2) The writers are involved in some sort of war with RSL, and have decided that they will make his character do ridiculous things until he quits.
3) RSL is a jerk and wants a character who matches his personality.

The results are not optimistic. (1) seems farfetched (I mean, there are so many better potential d-bags on the cast), (2) is a little gangbanger for the network TV writers. So what does that leave us with?

Robert Sean Leonard is a complete tool.




Oh yeah, and I have a blog now. I'll talk about more important things than TV when I'm in a better state of mind. But will I talk about more awesome things? Probably not. And as an added extra, I'll be attaching a song to the end of my posts for mass consumption.

The Go! Team -- Huddle Formation